Howdy, neighbor: Just testing you

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Before you gripe about the guy next door and the kids across the street, what kind of neighbor are you?

Shaker Heights wants to punish landlords for tenants’ behavior. Maple Heights and Bedford are charging parents for their kids’ unruly acts.

Jerry Bourassa, who lives on Winslow Road in Shaker Heights, told me his neighborhood created a Bill of Rights for Residents. It also lists responsibilities.

The bill helps residents know when their rights are being violated and when they are violating others’ rights. (To see it, go to the top of my online columns page: cleveland.com/news/plaindealer/regina_brett)

Being a resident does come with rights and responsibilities.

So, what kind of neighbor are you? Take this test and find out.

Do you:

Drive as if your street is the Daytona 500 and your last name is Earnhardt?

Park across the sidewalk, blocking it for pedestrians?

Put your garbage out on the curb whenever you feel like it?

Leave a mess after the animals tear the trash bags open?

Play music so loud neighbors two blocks away complain?

Play loud music considered vulgar by your grandma?

Drop the F-bomb loudly and often?

Do you have . . .

A broken-down car in the driveway?

A car up on blocks for so long the driveway has caved in?

A couch rotting on the porch?

Strings of icicle lights up year round?

Dead branches hanging over your neighbor’s driveway?

Do your children:

Play in the street?

Cut across neighbors’ yards without asking permission?

Ride bikes on other people’s lawns?

Play unsupervised late at night?

Walk in the street, daring cars to hit them?

Thump a basketball when people are trying to sleep?

Drink beer and stash the empties in the neighbors’ bushes?

Sell drugs on the corner?

If you own a pet, do you . .

Keep a pit bull, Doberman or Rottweiler unfenced?

Leave dog poop on the sidewalk and on other people’s lawns?

Allow your pets to go thirsty, hungry or unsheltered?

Let your cat scratch its initials on the neighbor’s car?

Walk your dog down the sidewalk and force others to walk on the grass to pass?

Allow your dog to howl at the moon all night?

Do you . . .

Host loud parties on weeknights, keeping neighbors up?

Hold garage sales every weekend?

Walk in the road instead of using the sidewalks?

Allow the grass to grow knee high before mowing?

Let the weeds go berserk and seed the entire county?

Let your leaves blow into the neighbor’s yard?

Have so many lawn ornaments that it looks like a miniature golf course?

Allow the snow to pile up on the sidewalk all winter?

Use your chain saw, leaf blower or lawn mower before 9 a.m. or after 9 p.m.?

Toss your wrappers, cigarette butts or beer bottles in people’s yards?

So how did you rate? If you aren’t sure, ask your neighbors.